Jump to content

Animation treatment feedback


Recommended Posts

In my last job I worked briefly with an animation studio called Prawnimation, who did a charity video about the hospice sector as seen here:



It is likely that I will be going ahead with commissioning a short advertisement for PCGamingWiki in the same style as the above video, for around 30 - 60 or so seconds. The aim is to create a viral video that explains exactly what we do, helps spread the word about the site and hopefully goes viral because of how much humour we can inject into it :).


I hope for this video to be the start of a new YouTube channel I have some plans for.


Before our first meeting (Friday 30th August) I have drafted up a brief treatment for the animation, would appreciate feedback or ideas.


VO or title: Ever had a problem getting a PC game to run?

Character playing PC game happily (animated version of Mass Effect or something), looks really pleased/engrossed

Windows error beep from Windows XP and Windows 7, glitching

Dragging window, moving mouse left to right - Windows error window, drag around with trails



Progressively more angry

Smash keyboard - blue screen


VO or title: Spend hours trying to find a fix to a problem?

Character furiously searching Google, browsing through forums, scrolling through threads

Sees words like ‘nvm I fixed it’

‘I’ll PM you the fix’

Showing character’s face, progressively more angry

Clicking links to download, but getting 404 error or ad-filled pages

Maybe bluescreen again


VO or title: Welcome to PCGamingWiki, which has one page for every PC game fix

Quick scroll through some of our pages (log in to remove ads)





VO or title: If you discover an awesome new fix, please add it in, no account is required


Character has found a fix, now back to playing game happily, all thanks to PCGamingWiki.


Show PCGamingWiki logo

VO or title: PCGamingWiki, the website about fixing PC games

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I'd say focus on the positive aspects. Let's not perpetuate the myth that computers are super difficult machines near impossible to run and show that it's got a bro-tier community that wants to help each other out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Holy crap are we 'bro-tier' now? :D.


The treatment needs to emphasize how bad forum threads can be - 'nvm I fixed it' and 404 download links.


As you say we should also include positive aspects of our community - maybe as additional characters giving fistbumps through the screen or something :D.


Perhaps we could also include some visual gags and PC game reference for when the character is finally relieved and happy having found PCGamingWiki?


I think we will go for voiceover track as it'll enhance the video - although we'll need this recorded fairly soon in the next 4 weeks.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have little voice over experience, but I can lend my voice to the cause if desired. I have a blue yeti mic and a pop shield, for what it's worth.


Give me something to read and I'll post it up on here, see if it's what we're looking for.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have little voice over experience, but I can lend my voice to the cause if desired. I have a blue yeti mic and a pop shield, for what it's worth.


Give me something to read and I'll post it up on here, see if it's what we're looking for.


Thanks for the offer Newmansan! You can audition on the condition that you understand that we may pick someone else, it's nothing personal! :) Why not try these two lines, and we'll take it from there:

Ever had a problem getting a PC game to run?

Spend hours trying to find a fix to a problem?




You could post in the "Voice Acting Auditions" subforum.


Also, you might want to check this list of indie voice actors out. They might be available for non-profit projects.



I'll be putting more calls out for VO artists and I'll include those boards too.


I found this guy CubixFails who seems really great, has the right kind of comic timing and looks like he will do it for free:


Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some thoughts and suggestions from my wife:

Page 1) Smashes monitor again and place the broken monitor on a pile of other smashed keyboard/monitors
Dislodges a headcrab lookalike from Half-Life, who scurries away

Page 2) Places new monitor, flings off the packaging in one motion
Character resolved to fix problem - goes to Poogle
Zoom into fingers, clickety click, feeling more stressed at not finding the fix
'Nvm I fixed it' - pops out of the screen
Progressively more angry
'I PM'd you the fix'
Zoom into eyebrows/face to see anime style eyebrow twitch or furrowed eyebrows
Day night cycle a background window with a circling sun/moon, with birds in the background on a tree
Loses his rag - at each cut, the screaming gets progressively fainter with echo in a cliched way
Cut - camera viewing him from ceiling, can see the pile of broken monitors/keyboards
Cut - camera viewing house
Cut - camera viewing earth
Cut - camera from space with FTL spaceship (will find permission to use this)
Cut - camera on alien world, Zergling - who about to eat a marine - looks up and says 'mm?'

Page 3) 'Welcome to PCGamingWiki..' - a bird lands on his shoulder and they look at each other happily, in a kind of Disney style
Perhaps we can add a bit more to this to make it more humourous

Page 4) Ending, add quotes:
"Step in the PCGamingWiki, which aims to make the biggest collection of PC tweaks, tips, and hardware guides on the Internet." - Alasdair Duncan, Destructoid

"If they manage it, this could be one of the internet’s greatest resources." - Jim Rossignol, Rock Paper Shotgun

"At this rate PCGamingWiki could one day achieve its lofty goals, thanks in no small part to the passionate PC gaming community." - Mike Fahey, Kotaku

Perhaps we can get a quote from TotalBiscuit

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 4 weeks later...

Some designs have come through now based on some iterations and back and forth, including a Ferris Bueller style 'scream' which switches from Sims 3 to Civ V to StarCraft.


Making final decision on character, due 10am UK time October 7th (today).


BG 1.jpg

BG 2 WIDE.jpg

BG 2.jpg

BG 3.jpg

BG 4.jpg

BG 5.jpg



My wife swears number 3 is the best, but wants add headphones from number 4 to him.


In my opinion the 4th one looks pretty good!


Any thoughts?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree -- some fusion of 3 and 4 seems like the way to go.


I think the hands look a bit off though.  Maybe he shouldn't have fingers at all. Right now they make him look like a robot with two power plugs (seriously, that's what I thought they were at first). 


P.S. This is what it looks like when someone gets frustrated trying to get a PC game to run: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZLCoYrmZwk

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Create New...