Firstly, I do apologize for not posting my system specs in advance. I've updated my post to include them.
Secondly, I've checked out the patch, but even with that and what's listed below, it still didn't work.
Thirdly, a no-CD patch was made by f0xn. I'll link it here: http://users.skynet.be/vierkantduwertje ... X-f0xn.rar But, it didn't work for me. If anyone wants to try it, be my guest.
Lastly, I do own United on Steam, but it's just not the same feeling. Damn you StarForce, burn in hell.